Dear Microsoft; leave my sodding PC alone

I know there are people in the world who never apply updates. I know you think that spontaneously rebooting my PC to protect me by applying updates is a good thing - but it's not! Not when I'm working, now when I have Web pages open for research, not when I am busy. I always set Windows Update to download and notify rather than install and reboot - but when I installed Microsoft Security Essentials to check that the unsigned Adobe Flash update wasn't actually malware, you took the opportunity to change my settings without asking and my PC just rebooted. Notification? I never saw it; perhaps it was on the second screen that wasn't powered on but that you were displaying windows on anyway? And I know you think you can restore my session perfectly - but you can't. Not until Internet Explorer gets a little smarter. where are all the browser windows I had open? You;ve just opened my home page tabs - many of which are frequently updated pages so if I did have them open they've changed. How about the 18 tabs I had open and was referring to? How about the SharePoint Explorer window I had open? If you can't put it back the way you found it STOP MESSING AROUND WITH IT.

And the rest of you: stop clicking on dangerous Web links just to get free stuff or read stupid messages so security doesn't have to be enforced like this on those of us who can use the Internet safely. If I can avoid getting a virus or a botnet, so can you.

On a certain 'journalist' who ended up quoting himself and claims to regret it

Father Ted
Let's try this again. These are public and acceptable to talk about. Those are client details and personally identifiable information and are con-fid-en-tial
'Journalist'
No, Ted, I still don't get it...

I spent the morning running an old laptop under the tap

One of the problems with carrying a laptop around with you is that it looks like a valuable laptop, and a laptop bag or sleeve doesn't disguise it much. The Undercover laptop sleeve gives your notebook a place to hide; it looks like a padded mailing envelope complete with label, stamp, postmark, return address, delivery instructions, creases and all.

 It claims to be splashproof and tearproof - and you can even scribble notes on it for added authenticity (ballpoint works better than gel or fountain pens). But can't you just use a real mailing envelope? Find out what happened when I turned on the tap over at ZDNet